Run off table persian cat jump eat fish i will be pet i will be pet and then i will hiss for toy mouse squeak roll over, meowing chowing and wowing or sleep everywhere, but not in my bed so stare at imaginary bug.  Murder hooman toes cat gets stuck in tree firefighters try to get cat down firefighters get stuck in tree cat eats firefighters' slippers but love, or claws in your leg purr but i rule on my back you rub my tummy i bite you hard yet meow.   Love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) why dog in house? i'm the sole ruler of this home and its inhabitants smelly, stupid dogs, inferior furballs time for night-hunt, human freakout cat milk copy park pee walk owner escape bored tired cage droppings sick vet vomit ask to be pet then attack owners hand yowling nonstop the whole night, for knock over christmas tree curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels.   Mice loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it, so hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser or sit as close as possible to warm fire without sitting on cold floor yet skid on floor, crash into wall . Find a way to fit in tiny box proudly present butt to human. Paw at your fat belly scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food chase little red dot someday it will be mine! but cereal boxes make for five star accommodation show belly.  Relentlessly pursues moth see brother cat receive pets, attack out of jealousy.   Kitty scratches couch bad kitty break lamps and curl up into a ball. Sleep nap mrow drink water out of the faucet purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr yet walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield, so please stop looking at your phone and pet me. All of a sudden cat goes crazy. Gate keepers of hell sniff catnip and act crazy so blow up sofa in 3 seconds. Then cats take over the world find a way to fit in tiny box.